Packing to leave the hotel.
I just wanted to point out that our entire trip has been a cross between Lolita and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. We leave carnage in our wake.
Jordan sleeps with her laptop and a stuffed shrimp...
Just so everyone knows.
nowaitninjas: what if real life was like the sims and you could go up to someone cute and just hit a button that said “flirt” repeatedly until they finally had sex with you
I've been putting off commenting on this for about...
Actually… I just don’t know what to say. Or where to start. I’ve started and deleted about ten lines now. I just don’t know. Cara was someone I really looked up to as she dealt with terminal illness. I know a lot of my followers have chronic or terminal illness, and I respect all of you and your heroic struggles in your own lives. But Cara was… so transparent. I saw...
today i was at the movies, and i saw a guy with a...
sofuckedinlovewithyou: and my moms boyfriend was like “how do you know” like bitch do u see his shirt??? no because you’re not from the fucking internet
In high school, my favorite holiday was...
Jordan: "So I didn't get his number. But I know his name was Alex. I'm gonna look him up on Facebook."
Jordan: "Alex... Mexican at Quick Trip."
At the wedding reception, my mom lost her purse.
We split up to go look for it, while she waiting on a bench with Jordan and Sophie. I went to one of the multiple open bars (!!!). I said that my mom had lost her purse and asked if they’d found one. The bartender told me they hadn’t, and asked if my mom was the one who had all the gin. Yep, that was definitely her. I walked away, and a minute later, the bartender came running up to...
doobiefry: wow so today i got a man arrested. he was a jesus man. there were three of them. he was one yelling. he pointed me out in the French Quarter and said I was a sinner. Then I flipped him off and he swung at me. A cop saw and puts him in handcuffs and says: “c’mon, man. you can’t hit the tourists.” yep.
pacify-eris: there needs to be some kind of insecure writer meme wants to be published won’t let anyone read manuscript yep.
Just watched Maddie, a gymnast from the Disney movie Stick It, do the chicken dance.
Me: "If you get lost, just find Jackson Square, and if you keep walking around its perimeter, eventually you'll get back to the cathedral."
Jordan: "Okay but what do I do if I wind up on a boat?"
Jordan: "NOT GETTING ON A BOAT IS EASIER SAID THAN DONE."
That awkward moment when your roommate is spooning...
That horrible moment when you need to take an...
Heaven Or Hell Is Probably in Antler, Okla.
At eighty miles an hour with headlights that illuminate a universe which spans only fifteen feet in front of you, every entrance ramp is a near-death experience. At some point, you forget it’s only near. It was probably when you took the wrong exit ramp in Tulsa, wound up at a stoplight next to Cheap Jail Bonds [OPEN!] and your headlights caught a dear hunched old woman wrapped...
I'm really sorry that a charon crack-whore in...
is it bad that sometimes i have to stalk my own...
Anonymous asked: Does Jordan still have a Tumblr?
We’re in the hotel in Harvey, outside New Orleans. We started our journey leaving Wichita at 9:45 last night. Within three hours, we’d almost crashed, had a horrifying encounter in Tulsa with a possessed psychopathic crackwhore, and had a run-in with the police that involved me having to sit in a patrol car for ten minutes. We got horribly lost from about 1:00 to 2:00 am, trying to...
Arrived in Shreveport at 7:46 a.m.
Ten hours of driving almost to the minute, 27 hours awake…
We’re lost. No idea what state we’re in. :/
In the past three hours, I have almost crashed, encountered the most terrifying crackwhore ever, and been in a patrol car.
‘Where do you get your ideas?’ I purposely mishear things.– Harlan Ellison (via aspiretowritemore) (via rhetoricbedamned)
When you know you drunk texted someone last night,...
gpoy every time
oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck
in about 24 hours, I will be heading out of Wichita. Destination: New Orleans. Here are the things going wrong: Neither Jordan nor my babysitter for tomorrow are answering their phones I still have a shit ton of homework I have to email to my teachers before 9 am tomorrow I still have a scholarship application due before I leave tomorrow my house is a fucking mess I need to pay rent OH YEAH...
I spend a really inordinate amount of time...
Today I tried to catch a cricket to bring home to my snakey but I caught him by his antennae and it broke off and he hopped away and now I feel bad :(