I'm Mik. Model, mother, moron. Future meta-magician. Former logic clinician.
My better half and I own Brainfood Bookstore in Longmont, Colorado. It is the only exclusively indie- and local-lit bookstore in the nation. We meet a lot of crazy folks.
Testimonial from a former roommate:
"Living with you was like living with a quiet little opinionated deer person who floated around like a ghost and said smart/nutso things and ate seaweed. "
I love Colorado. I love mountains. I love hiking. I read and write. I raise my children to the best of my ability. I have lupus and have defeated early-stage cancer twice, so I pretty much fully support the use of medical marijuana.
Today, the day of the final, one of my students asked me, “What’s modus ponens?”
But twenty seconds later she mentioned that she watches a lot of Fox News, so I immediately understood.
does a stab wound count as an orifice
I hate work.
Someone just said, “But they are the victim of toothpaste.”
As their rationale behind why they believe that dental patients are the reference class in a probability exercise.
A girl in the logic clinic, upon hearing of inductive logic.
Me: So you want to switch the order of the consequent and the antecedent, and reverse their truth values. Which equivalence would that be?
Student: Are you a vegetarian?
Me: No, why?
Student: ...because you're eating a vegetable?
Me: Yeah... Let's get back to working on those fallacies.
a student in my logic clinic (unironically)
Random note about Bertrand Russel. When I first took Introductory Logic, I took it from a professor named Dan Russel. Only I didn’t know his first name. I knew him only as Professor Russel. So whenever he was talking about all this shit that Bertrand Russel came up with, I thought he was talking about himself. Like, I literally thought that Bertrand Russel was teaching me logic.
So I walked into the logic lab, and there was a very panicked girl holding a wet and miserable-looking Pomeranian. “I need a lot of help,” she said. “It looks like you do,” I said.
I wish there was a punchline but there isn’t. This is my job.
Me: "Want a tomato?"
Random kid in my office: "I don't like tomatoes."
Me: "Are you scared of them?"
Random kid: "What? No."
Me: "You sure?"
Kid: "I'm not scared of tomatoes, I just don't like them."
Kid: "I'm NOT scared of tomatoes."
Me: "I believe you."
Kid: "I'M NOT."
Me: "Because my boyfriend and my sister and my cousin are all scared of tomatoes."
Kid: "Like, scared?"
Me: "Yeah, they all have phobias of tomatoes."
Kid: "Well, I'm not scared of them, like I'll help my mom peel them and--"
Me: "But you wouldn't wanna be home alone in a dark room with one at night, right?"
Idiotic 'pacifist' (passive slug) libertarian: It'd be so nice to live in the future, when all of these medical problems will be taken care of and people will only have to worry about the problems they inflict on themselves.
Me: That's... a vastly optimistic view of the future.
Idiotic 'pacifist' (passive slug) libertarian: Well think about how far we've come in the last couple hundred years. Children used to be beaten, practically forced to be slaves, tortured...
Me: *lowers newspaper and stares*
Idiotic 'pacifist' (passive slug) libertarian: Well I mean, in most families, I think, today, children aren't...
Me: *goes back to reading*
Idiotic slug: What are you reading?
Me: An article about all the people who have been arrested on charges of sexual assault against children in the last couple weeks.
Idiotic slug: Oh yeah that reminds me of an idea I had--
When I left the building, the grad students and the secretary were still fighting over the status of the Panama Canal, an undergrad was brandishing an atlas, and the dean was shouting ‘JUST LOOK IT UP IN THE FUCKING DICTIONARY.’